Giving Up

Over the last 9/10 months or so, I was starting to feel that maybe the world wasn't just a big ball of crap and that people were maybe not as bad as I thought.  For a while, I was starting to think positively about some things in life.  Things were changing, and I thought for the better.

Well that was a stupid thought.  After last night's events, and some realizations that came to me, I took whatever new views on the world that I have had and any feelings for people that managed to fester up inside, well I dragged all that bullshit outside and had them all shot and burned.  So all that is left is the ashes and the old me!  I will now be back to not liking the world and most everyone in it.  Be prepared!

The world is going to hell and most people care only about themselves.  Don't be fooled into thinking that it's not true, most people only do things that will benefit them in some way, shape, or form.  People are bastard coated bastards with bastard filling, always have been and always will be.

One of the realizations that I made last night, is that a lot of the people I know don't really want to do things with me, which is fine, I get it.  Sometimes I can be rude, say stupid things, and be mean, but if I'm asked to do something, even when it isn't very convenient, most of the time I'll find a way to make it work.  Do you think a lot of people do that for me?  Fuck no! Granted, there are a select few that do, but that list is very small.  If people are spending time with me, its usually because they have nothing better to do and are bored, and they no I am probably not doing anything.

So, I have decided to make a new policy for my life.  3 strikes = You're out! 
It's lame, I know.

If I make an effort to see someone and spend my time with them and am rejected or ignored 3 times, I am just going to quit trying.  Now if the person has a good excuse, thats ok as long as they make an effort in return to do something at a different time.  If they don't, I will think I'm not worth their time so there will be no need to put anymore effort toward that person. 

I am sick of trying to see people who just don't seem to care whether they see me or not.  If people can't take time to see me, I don't need to take time to see them. 

If for some reason those feelings about the world and people rise again, like a Phoenix, I just have to remember that the Phoenix will eventually die, or I can just kill it before I get attached.

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Now before you start thinking that I am just feeling sorry for myself, don't get carried away.  I, now for the forseeable future, don't feel anything. I just turned that switch off.  Also, if I think about the big picture, my life is good.  I got a nice house, a good job, and great family.  I am just thinking clearly now, just like I used to.  Ya know, before I thought things could get even better.

There, that's all I have to say.  I'd like to think I feel better now, but I don't feel much anymore.  Also, if anyone is offended or hurt by this, that just means you probably realized I was either telling the truth or going insane.  Both would be correct.  I can be crazy and speaking the truth at the same time. 

Oh I forgot, Most everyone piss off!  Unless you want to hang out, then give me a call, or don't. I honestly don't care anymore, and it will hopefully be a long time before I do again.